dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
