Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
