I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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