just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
