He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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