It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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