you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
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