It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
