You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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