I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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