If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
