Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
