maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
