New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
