i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
