Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
