you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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