He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
