just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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