Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
