Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I wish I only lived at night.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
