Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
