My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
