No awkward lesbian experiences without me
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Drunk is not a location!
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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