Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
