Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
