im drinking this country out of the recession.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
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Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
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I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I lost the right to judge tonight
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize