Yo dont text me then not text me
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize