THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
