Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
