She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
