Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Randomize
