I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
