Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
