I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
