Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
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