I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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