I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
