Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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