Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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