We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
