Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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