i think i have two assholes
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
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