he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
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