Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
being pregnant is like rehab
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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