Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
