you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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