Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
