Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
