is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
