We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
NoShamevember. You game?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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