Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
