he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
