I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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