So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
