I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
