I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
