The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
