So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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