Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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