I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
