Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
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