life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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