the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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