I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I am in a vortex of obligation.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
